Must my life's "MISS"-teries and their "mess"-ages matter to most? I guess for the MASS minority only?!

Lately (for the past few weeks), Life has been messing up with me... I'd rather say that than quote that my life is a mess coz for me, apparently, it's still not that bad.... I'm just deciphering the messages of those mysterious mishaps that are happening one after the other or piling up if I may say so... it just seems like my endurance, my faith, my patience is on the line... they are being tested... my health deteriorated just when I thought that dealing with it has become of those boring games that I've gotten used to, a new challenge appeared, one that is more intense and tiring to begin with... one that I am not at all ready to face... I never saw it coming... then another trial came upon... as I've mentioned, one that I also didn't see coming... I never expected I'd be talking to God all day and night... He made our conversations like breathing... something that I wouldn't dare stop coz the risks are too high to try... It came to a point that even writing this blog has taken so long... coz even just making it part of my itinerary was way too messy to matter...

When I had the chance to have a breather, I really made it a point to grab it... but even while I was having that breather, another mishap happened... something that made me think if that mishap was "THE" sign of my end? was it a practice of goodbye to my greatest love of all? and my SONshine?  could it be one of the last few sunsets I'd spend with them?!

On the other hand, the silver lining was, being non-existent in my social media circle assured me that I won't be missed. At the very least, there's one good thing that would lay me down to rest (in PEACE): nobody except my family and some very few friends asked how I was (coz my social media accounts were deactivated or unusually quiet, static)... my motility was brought about by the circumstances I was facing... I was never alone but my mind and my heart were both in solitary confinement... only God could hear the rage in my soul... but I was ironically at peace despite the rage (coz I hardly ever say a word that people could hear, inaudible to say the least... days passed to weeks but that was it... they just passed...) My disappearance was hardly noticed...

 MY one & only BIG

 My ONE GREAT LOVE

 God is my TIME-KEEPER (If I could save TIME IN A BOTTLE, I would)

 Our ONE & ONLY SONshine

 MY LIFE

If I could save time in bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do was to save everyday til eternity passes away I'd spend them with you (my boys & God)... that was the song of my life when were in-front of the vastness of the sea/ocean, the skies and the sun were the only audience we've had then... when I lost the most precious tangible things that I have, it dawned on me that I HAVE NOTHING...

 the vastness & infinity of the skies & the ocean made me feel like I'm just a grain of sand in this Universe

I AM NO ONE... didn't dare ask God why coz He already answered it before I even thought of asking by showing me the reality that I have my two boys: Big & our only SONshine... I may lose everything but not them.... the sun rose and set, I lost everything I had when I went there but not them... then it came to mind that God spoke to me loud enough that tears just fell that what I was seeing then and hearing were the only ones I needed to live... my only God, my one & only love: Big, & our one and only SONshine:Jacob... the free air, the free sun, the sea (salt & water) -technically not free but God-given ;-P on our way home it was just us 3.... FUNmily... they capped my day... the only day when my voice was again audible (annoyingly?)...

The loss will always linger on... like MYSTERIES coz I will MISS those tangible things TERribly but they will be held as precious memorIES that I will remember til the day I pass on... they will remain safe in my heart, mind and soul eternally... I'm getting too good at goodbyes nowadays... must I be worried?